Welcome to the pond

Time to get weird:

1. How do trees flirt?

They whisper to each other in the breeze, and it takes until Autumn for them to blush (which is why leaves change color).

2. What do puppets eat? What do they dream about?

Puppets subsist on a diet of peaches and little blue fish. They don't dream, but they do experience a floating sensation while asleep.

3. People take their pets to kennels when they are going away on vacation. Why aren't there kennels for children as well?

If there were kennels for kids, they'd be fun places and kids wouldn't want to go back to their parents after the vacation is over. So that is why kid kennels don't exist.

4. What was the greatest use of anchovies in the last 100 year?

The use of anchovies as weapons against the Nazis by the Swiss Army in the Battle of Zupenflugernichten in 1943 was much talked about by military strategists in the years after World War II

5. Why would a cardinal repeatedly fly into the same glass door over and over day after day? What could be going through it's little bird brain?

Female cardinals are, somehow, naturally more attracted to brain-damaged male cardinals. Evolution has taught the male cardinals to repeatedly run into solid objects in order to attract a mate.

*Disclaimer: The above answers are meant to be taken satirically and sarcastically. None of them contain any truthful facts and are for entertainment purposes only.*