Last night I watched the movie "The Transporter." Good action flick with a lot of martial arts and other stunts. Today, though, I was thinking about the movie and I wondered about something.
Okay, in these action movies there's usually a bad guy whom the good guy is battling against. This bad guy usually has henchmen who exist to do his dirty work and try to stop the good guy. They usually lose. I'd just like to know . . .
Who are these guys? Who are these henchmen that always work for the bad guy? Is this their job, or do they have something legit that they do in addition to being bad guys?
When they fill out a credit card application, what do they list as their occupation? What do they do about taxes?
Do they have families they go home to every night (or day, because most of their work seems to take place at night)? Do they live alone? What do they do in their spare time? Do they ever feel guilty about beating people up for a living?
Do they have dogs? Is the dog's name fluffy? What do they do for meals - do they cook a nice pasta and salad when they get home from a day of fighting someone, or do they just go to McDonald's?
What do they do for Christmas? It must be awkward visiting with the family and having to account for your occupation. Do they lie about what they do?
Maybe they don't have families anymore. Maybe that's why they're henchmen. How do you get started doing that, anyway? What do you put on a henchman's resume? I bet you can't really list any references, because the previous bad guy you worked for probably wants to kill your new boss.
What do they do when they retire? When is it time to retire as a henchman, anyway? If the movies are true, most of them retire by dying or getting the crap beat out of them.
Do their insurance rates go up because they're in such a dangerous, high-stress line of work?
How long do they keep their job? In the movies, they have a very high rate of failure. Do their bosses just accept them back in the fold, or do they fire them because they didn't capture or kill the good guy?
Do they get a lot of women wanting to date them because, well, they're the "bad guy"?
So many things to think about. You usually don't think twice about those movie henchmen, but today I have.
Monday, March 20, 2006
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2 comments:
Hahahha, hilarious post! It really is something to wonder about.
What have you been eating in that cereal bowl, anyway?
Henchmen is an honored trade, according to the FAQ at Assassins-guild.org, for those who lack the mental acuity and/or physical speed due to a misbegotten youth spent as the center on the local football team, or hauling water in buckets for giants as a scullery dog.
Me, I prefer to spend my time as an Assassin. Just because I can abbreviate my occupation as "Ass."
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